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Experiencing Christ, Copyright © 2008, Sheila Cragg, All rights reserved.

Tanya's Columns

1. To Catch a Hummingbird

2. Finding Your Fortress

 

Growing up in the Susquehanna Valley of North Central Pennsylvania has been a delicious treat, especially hiking trails and enjoying the lakes and many displays of God's beauty that abound in this mountainous region. Much of my inspiration for writing has been birthed here and centered on the Christian values I have come to heed and love.

To the onlooker my twenty-seven years may appear simple and sheltered. That assumption is far from the truth. I have a boundless depth of stories and tales that are bursting to escape. I hope my column Dew from Heaven: Tanya Szendrey's Splashes of Encouragement and Sprits of Inspiration will be a means that God can use to refresh you and give you a plain and pure perspective from a fellow traveler who walks daily with her God.

I came up with the title "Dew From Heaven" because any beautiful message I may share from God will not be the thirst quenching drench of wisdom the fullness of our Savior has the power to pour out on us. I am only a vessel, a siphon of sorts that our Lord speaks through to the hearts of my readers.

The morning dew is only a mist. My words are light compared to the depth and weightiness of my Savior's wisdom found only in Him and His Word. But He still uses me. All can see that the dewy mist does glisten at times when the sun shines on it. Jesus being God's Son is so magnificent that not only His Word shines, but His whole being blinds us with the light the Father bestowed on HIM. I sparkle; Jesus is the bright Morning Star. He is the Light of the World. My writing is a small taper leading the redeemed to a land where light is embodied by Jesus.

Finding Your Fortress

"A Mighty Fortress is our God," that well known hymn belted out from the pipes of my church's organ. When I was child, I thought a fortress was a place that housed half-dead men from a war's bloodshed. The hymn reminded me of war, and I hated bloody battles and all they entailed.

I pondered the words of this hymn and came to a conclusion. "This song doesn't inspire me. I am an inside girl not one on the frontlines."

It was a song I did not enjoy singing, so I focused on the rays of sun streaming through the stained glass windows and how the reflecting colors lit up the pastor's baldhead.

As I was growing up struggles abounded in my life. I faced the reality of having severe learning disabilities and certain other limitations. My lifelong dream of earning a college degree was dashed, relationships I desperately needed floundered, and I felt I was thrust into a world I was not qualified or able to live in. In the midst of all this confusion I wanted rest and to have some kind of stability. In the search for a place to unburden my struggles, God got my attention.

He began leading me on a journey that would transform my life. "A Mighty Fortress is our God", began to have a comforting meaning.

When I first became a Christian, I was new to putting my trust in the Lord, and I started seeing how I would grasp and grope. What I mean by that is I tried to reach out and find my worth and happiness in things, jobs, relationships, and material items. It was like an inborn drive that wouldn't go away. The scary part is that I can't remember not doing the groping and grasping.

When I was a young child I thought if I had lots of toys I would be supremely happy. But all the toys left a bigger void. Growing up through my unattractive and gangly years I believed that once my rail thin physique was filled out and I had much-needed cosmetic surgery to correct my overbite and bucked teeth I would feel fabulous.

This was a big dream. I was sure I would have all the confidence in the world. The surgery did do a 360, and I looked a whole lot better but it didn't bring lasting satisfaction. The desires for a refuge still burned deep in my heart.

During the time I was trying to find meaning in things God's hand was at work. The process was a bit uncomfortable. For instance, because of my weaknesses I am unable to work a full time job. I have lost many jobs because of my challenges. Being called into the boss's office and being told that I was a kind and generous worker followed by the dreadful news that the company was letting me go was painful.

Once at a Nursing Home I worked as a Nursing Assistant. When my supervisor shared the news that I was going to be let go she said something that cut deep into my soul. She told me the things I already knew about my weaknesses, and then she expressed that I was a danger to the elderly.

The people who I loved serving I could no longer attend to because of being a threat. It hurt, but amazingly I saw His hand working through the depressing trials I experienced. I was being torn away from the things I found my self-worth in and left bare without anything but Jesus to grasp onto. I was not aware of His presence all the time during those painful instances, and I did not know what He had in store for me.

He revealed my weaknesses and for a time He had me examine them but not for long because he wanted me to focus on His strengths. In his own subtle way through these trials he kept motioning for me to come to Him.

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Like any sinner I didn't want to give up what I now consider "worldly" comforts because I thought they were better than what the God of the Universe had to offer.

I licked my raw wounds and at that time I cowered away from accepting any job that would be more suitable for my condition. I was terrified! Through all my failed hopes, dreams, and expectations of myself, I began to see how I needed to know our wise God more. In experiencing the rejections, the upsets, and the terrible news I found the only place I wanted to be was in that fortress, that refuge of being in the will of God. A Mighty Fortress is our God was the place I wanted to be.

By surrendering myself and admitting that I am nothing without Christ I found Jesus our never changing Lord welcoming me to find rest in Him. Now that I have been through some battles, I realize I would have despaired if it wasn't for the Savior's love, and so I press on.

The journey has been tough and I expect to have more battles maybe even worse ones than before. Yet this stage in my life I have great confidence in the Lord Jesus. He is my Savior and the only Man up until this point in my life that was willing to die for me.

He is giving me an abundant life. He is my Rock. Whatever battle I must face I have the confidence that He will come alongside me. Every time he does, I will welcome Him with open arms ready to receive His help. And I take great joy and satisfaction in the fact that the end of my life story is already written. I will be with Him forever!

I will live out the rest of my days having full assurance that He is there with me and ready to lead. I now savor the words of Martin Luther's hymn, A Mighty Fortress is our God. What is better in life than knowing that Someone is protecting you that is more powerful than the greatest leader here on earth?

How beautiful it is to travel far from home and to know the great Comforter is right there with you as you lay down for the night in an unfamiliar place. The joys are never ending when we live out God's will for us in our lives. By trusting in Him, and by humbling ourselves as Jesus did we can find fulfillment in our God.

Whatever battles we may face there is a place for the healing of our souls. I invite you to find your fortress, in God. He is our rampart where we can hide in our battles and the invisible armor HE blesses us with will protect us from the affects of the raging wars that will inevitably come. Take heart, and remember "A Mighty Fortress is Our God."

Tanya Szendry, Copyright © 2008, All rights reserved.